Tips for a great parent-child relationship

Rearing a child is same as planting a seed. Both of them need care, attention and affection, also both are full of unlimited possibilities. But finding and nurturing those possibilities can only be done by parents with their long experience of life as their in no handbook written for it. Parenting is an 'art' which requires practice and patience. Parents should carefully find the best way to nurture children so that in future parents can proudly say that they are my children and children should proudly say that they are the best parents of world. A good relationship between parents and children depends upon good parenting skills, which is important for growth of children as confident and well-adjusted individuals.

Parenting is not easy as we discussed thoroughly from beginning in, what type of parents you are?, Parents: Friend or Foe and Understanding Parents-Children conflict. In this last article of 'Parenting-series' we will describe few tips to make your parenting journey easy. Here are few tips that will help in rearing your children and develop a great parent-child relationship -

Un-conditional Love: To keep any relationship healthy, unconditional love is one of the most important conditions. Remember, children are not going to remain as a baby or young forever. They will grow up into adults and within no time they will be busy with their own lives. Childhood days of your child is the time when you can spend maximum amount of time with your child. You must try to have as many as happy memories as possible.

Be his Friend: Try to develop a friendly relationship with him because it is the most open and healthy relationship on earth. It will eliminate all types of fear and doubts from his mind related to you. It will not only stop him hiding things from you, rather will also enhance confidence in him for sharing.

Build his body and brain both: Teach them to adopt good eating habits and provide healthy meals. Encourage exercise, outdoor games and limit time and indulgence in watching television or playing video games. Also encourage their curiosity, encourage them to learn and explore by visiting library, museums, zoos and other places of interest.

Family-Time: In today's busy life schedule, it is not easy to have family time, but it is also a very important condition for healthy relationship. Give your children time; it will help in better understanding. Use this time to discuss their needs and feelings to solve any problem (if their) and promote cooperation. Spending time together develops affection and love. Make it a habit to have at least one meal together or play some board games 'Monopoly'. This will help your children to think as a family.

Talk and Listen to them: Whenever you are with your children, either at meal or game listen more and speak less. It will let you know their thinking, cognition, behavior and psychology. Keep a watch on their way of thinking, which is required if you want to change it. It will also remove their hesitation of speaking. Use gentle touch and make eye contact while talking to your children. Non-verbal communications are as important as verbal communication. Hold your children for comfort and to share smiles and hugs. When children wish to talk about concerns, stop whatever you are doing and listen their point of view. Show interest in them without being intrusive. Repeat to ensure that you understand them. Give opinion, but never put down theirs. Talk to your children gently rather giving lecture, criticism, threat or saying hurtful things.

Learn to say 'No': Learn to say 'no' to your children as always saying ‘yes’ may develop a sense of high expectation from you. Also it will make them habitual of this word which they are going to face many times in their life. Remember that to make your 'yes' valuable, it is necessary to make 'no', your habit.

Put yourself in their Shoes: An old adage but very useful for understanding others point of view. It is similar to empathy which makes you to feel other's feelings same as they feel. Whenever you feel irritation from your children's demands put yourself in their shoes (condition or situation) for a moment. Try to remember your childhood days. Suppose if your child want to buy something and you do not allow him, now think it from your child view of point. Your child can not put him in your shoes but you can so you are only responsible for this.

Do-not expect impossible from him: William Shakespeare told that, "Expectation is the root of all heartache." Now guess the result of expecting impossible from someone. This is one of the roots of destructing any relationships. Accept child's individuality and support his interests and talents.

Make him Self-reliant: Try to develop leadership qualities in your children, make him independent and self-reliant. Do not do everything by your own as it will make them more dependent on others. Let him to learn from his own experience and also teach him to learn from others. Give him opportunities to learn from his life. Start from giving simple tasks and then move up to complex ones, like assigning them task of cleaning the house, folding clothes etc. It will help teaching them basic life skills. Many parents do everything for their children in the name of love but remember, in long time it causes problems in life. By doing things children become self-reliant which in turn increases confidence and self-esteem. Do not give them fish into their hands; rather teach them to catch fish.

Use positive methods: There are two methods for everything, either for reinforcement, motivation or discouraging some habits in your children positively and negatively. Usually parents use negative methods, which seems effective but internally it develops ego problem in child’s sub-conscious mind. Tell him to opt between these two that whether he wants to be recognized by his father’s name or he wants that his father should be recognized by his name.

Above discussed are some parenting tips, but it is fact that parenting is totally situational and subjective thing, still by using these points' parents can make their journey of parenting easy. Memories of parent-child relationship are special to every parent-child and hold a special place in their heart. In last we can summarize the 'Parenting series' with lines that "remember to be good role models for your child, as parents are the biggest role models for children."

Suggested Readings:
1) What type of parents you are?
2) Parents: Friend or Foe
3) Understanding Parents-Children conflict