‘Chankya’ the greatest Indian thinker of his time, suggested the above said thoughts to parents, around 2400 years back. He knew the importance of parenting in shaping the whole existence of children and thus society and mankind. Here, need not to say that children are our future. Not only did the Indian philosopher, rather all philosophers of the world have given parenting utmost importance. Since the ancient time, the subject of parenting has gone through many researches, but sociological and psychological aspects dominated all the aspects.
One of the key roles played by people of every society, culture and country is parenting. ‘Parent’ is a designation to hold. It is one of the most stressful and responsible job of life. And no doubt it plays an important role in our society in the form of most basic relationship among all the interpersonal relationships exist. Parenting (or child rearing) is the process of raising, supporting and educating physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a child from birth, till her/his attainment of adulthood.
The philosophy of parenting and child rearing is not certain except some points. Every society has its own norms and vision on rearing on the basis of culture and sociological factors. Also, every parent develops their own way and philosophy of parenting. Many of issues are controversial; like issues related to discipline, religion and expectations. They affect the way of parenting. Still parenting has some common goal irrespective of culture, country and society. The general goals of parenting are, ensuring a child's physical needs, safety, preparing children for future life, transmitting skills and cultural values, and transforming them in to productive adults.
To achieve this, the ways which parents adopt has been psychologically divided on the basis of relationship among parents and child. Developmental psychologists have always been interested to find out, that how parents impact child development. Though findings are difficult to generalize but still few inferences can be made. The major Parenting Styles and their effect includes of –:
Authoritarian Parenting:
Style of parenting, in which parents expectations are very high and child is expected to follow every instruction of parents, without any question. Any failure to follow such rules results in punishment. Though Authoritarian parents have no explanation and reasoning behind these rules. These parents have high demands, but no positive response to their child. According to Baumrind, these parents "are obedient, status-oriented and expect their orders to be obeyed without explanation" (1991). ‘Authoritarian parenting’ produces obedient and proficient child, but they rank lower in happiness, emotional quotient, social competence and self-esteem.
Authoritative Parenting:
Sounds familiar to ‘Authoritarian parenting’. This type of parenting style too establishes rules and guidelines. They too expect their children to follow instructions given by them. But, Authoritative parenting is much more democratic. Such parents are responsive to their child and do listen them. On failure they, they use positive reinforcement and try to avoid punishment. Their methods are supportive, not punitive. Baumrind suggested that these parents "monitor and impart clear standards for their child’s conduct. They are assertive, but not intrusive and restrictive. They wish their child should be assertive, socially responsible, self-regulated and cooperative"(1991). This style of parenting leads to creation of children who are happy, capable and successful (Maccoby, 1992).
Permissive Parenting:
Also referred as, ‘indulgent parents’. In Permissive parenting parents have very few demands to make of their child. They rarely focus on discipline of their child because of lower expectations of maturity and self-control. Baumrind says, permissive parents "are more responsive than they are demanding. They are nontraditional, lenient and do not require mature behavior. They allow considerable self-regulation, and avoids confrontation" (1991).They are communicative with their child and behave like a friend more than that of parents. Permissive parenting results in producing child rank low in happiness and self-regulation. Such children are more prone to experience problems with authority and society.
Un-involved parenting:
A parenting style, with very few demands, low responsiveness and little communication. Such parents fulfill the child's physical needs, but are detached from their child's life. In some rare cases, they may even reject or neglect the needs of their child. It stands on the last step among all the ways. Such children are characterized by lack of self-control, low self-esteem and are less competent.
Sociology too suggests different way of parenting based the thesis of Melvin Koln-:
Traditional style of parenting:
In traditional or the confirmative style of parenting, parents expect their child to be obedient in public, respectful to others, and focused on life goals that the parents have for the child. They teach to their children in hope that they will make it in the world.
Non-Traditional style of parenting:
Non-Traditional parents are more responsive, than demanding. They are lenient and do not require mature behavior, allow self-regulation, and avoid confrontation.
These are the ways of parenting described with sociological facts. Some parents are intelligent enough to adopt the best way to of parenting and remains flexible enough to adopt various different styles suited to condition. Local sociological factors also affect a child’s capabilities. Think and decide how your child’s personality builds up. What are the things happening around and affecting her/him most. Remember some time it builds negative personality too. Do take care of them.
'We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.'
Stacia Tauscher
Suggested reading - 'Violent behaviour'
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