How to stop being judgmental

"Judging things is natural and comes to us naturally. We start practicing it unconsciously like 'Highway Hypnosis'. Being judgmental is not developing some short of opinion, judgmental is when you define things based on these short opinions and conclude whole nature and quality. Being judgmental is deriving conclusions and formulating opinions based on limited information, which do not, represents the entire situation. Being judgmental involves small percentage of the facts."

We concluded the whole concept of 'being judgmental' with above said lines in article, The talent of first sight judgment. We discussed the nature and impact of our habit of 'being judgmental.' As it is a natural impulse, we all are judgmental with varying degree of it. The nature of this 'nature' is to create division between people and things whether it would be harmful. Judgmental people possess an intense feeling to obtrude, their beliefs, habits and way of life on others. Such nature may result in 'being judgmental' as they make it a scale of judgment.

Think of it for a while –

While watching someone, based on his or her looks or actions and our belief, we conclude them even without knowing the person. Being judgmental often leads to miserable life as it creates a world with paucity of good, like good things, good people, good experiences, and good thoughts.

If one truly introspect self and find himself doing things as said in first paragraph, one may easily decide his nature in regard to 'being judgmental.' There is no problem if one is good at judging things and do not possess the quality of early judgment. However, when result after the introspection goes far away from the normal and fall in category of 'being judgmental' then it is a matter of serious concern. It will not only harm individual but also the people around them, either actively or passively. Any inference either good or bad if made by early judgment can be fatal. Now the most important aspect and last thing associated with this nature is- how to control and avoid 'being judgmental?'

It is a matter concerning with thought process; therefore, keeping thoughts in our center of focus, few steps can be taken to avoid it. After understanding cause, nature and its effect deeply, one may also develop their own ways to stop 'Being judgmental', nevertheless, to assist you in this resolution few tips are as follows-:

Rationalist Understanding-: Developing a rationalist understanding towards people and situation may eliminate nature of 'being judgmental.' Rationalist thinking protects your thought process from any bias and prejudice. Instead of judging, try to understand by putting yourself in their shoes. Remember that today's cosmopolitan society is a combination of people following different cultures, religion, nationalities, ideologies etc. This may result in variation over their look, act and talking accent. It will help you overcome judging others because they are different. Try to rationalizing their background, their circumstances by talking to them. Do the same when facing some strange situation, as nothing is permanent. Be empathetic in understanding.

Monitor your own behavior-: One must monitor his own behavior and should scrutinize it from the point of view of others. If done honestly one will be amazed to find that what she/he is criticizing in others is a regular part of her/his own behavior. It will also help you in rationalizing things as said in above point. This is the way, how we can put our feet in other’s shoes. Mindfulness will help in achieving this.

Learn to accept-: Accepting things, as it is we do not recommend is a penance to avoid conflicts. After understanding others and monitoring yourself, you may find several things you do not like. Learn to accept them also because this whole existence is full of duality. Accept others for what they are; and yourself for what you are, without trying to alter anything. Accept the variety of nature as gift, as a boon. After all, we need some contrast for the best view in our lives.

No one can know everything-: Accept the fact that you are not the person who has the entire knowledge of things happening around you. This may hurt your ego but it is a well-known fact, you may think that you have answer to every single question but it is not. Accepting this will not derogate you; remember Socrates lines that, 'The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.’ Now decide that how a mind can judge things with limited knowledge.'

Stop judging at first sight-: Avoid judging things, especially at the first sight. Being a good judge of first sight is almost impossible. To make a conclusion with sound judgment, one needs to know everything. Moreover, knowing everything at first sight is not possible; rather take time to decide.

Give Respect-: People often avoid such people who are very judgmental; sometimes they may even stop giving respect and regards. If you want to be respected, remember the old adage of give and take. Treat others the same way you want to be treated i.e. with respect and decency. Try to be humble.

Monitor your thought process-: Importance of thoughts in our behavior needs no explanation. We already have discussed it first article. Monitoring your thoughts will help you in keeping yourself aware when you incline towards ‘being judgmental’. Whenever you find any inclination towards 'being judgmental', you can take precaution and stop. It can be a difficult step but this reminds your-self to observe your action. Only after this step, rest steps of judging your thoughts and controlling of thought can be taken.

Few words of great people are equal to written scriptures, so keep on reminding yourself what Jesus said, "Judge not, that ye be not judged."